Why The Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side

18 Comments December 11, 2008 / Posted in Personal Development

Image courtesy of apdk

Human Nature

Have you ever met the situation where you kept thinking that there are better opportunities out there compared to your current one you are having? Take an example, you have a girlfriend/boyfriend and the thought of settling down always make you feel uneasy because you think that there are better girls/guys out there. This is the syndrome when one is always looking at the other side of the grass and think that the grass is greener on the other side and is also what I call the “greener grass” syndrome.

Why are we like this?

Uncertainty and curiosity plays a big part in creating the “greener grass” syndrome. It is because we are uncertain of whether what we are holding onto now is the best for us and whether are there any better alternatives out there. This uncertainty cause us to keep looking into alternatives and sometime it is doing us more harm than good because consistently looking out for the “greener grass” will sap us of our energy and attention and ultimately what we get will be an angry partner.

Human are also curious by nature and we love new things. We mostly prefer new over old because new things intrigue us and our curiosity will keep prompting us to explore the other side of the grass. These are the 2 factors that cause us to feel unsatisfied with what we have and always harboring the thought of finding the greener grass at the opposite side.

The Bad

So what is so bad about having the “greener grass” syndrome? If you have this syndrome, chances are you are missing out lots of things you currently have now. When we are always focusing on other opportunities, sometime we tend to squander the opportunity right in front of us.

There are lots of great people out there in world who can be your potential partner and sometime the best partner for you is just right in front of you but you did not put in enough effort in developing the relationship because you are spending your energy on searching for other people who seems to be better than the relationship you are having currently.

The Truth

The grass is always greener on the other side, AND the other side is always greener no matter which side you are. Have you seen some of your friends changing their girlfriend or boyfriend frequently because they say that their current boyfriend/girlfriend is just not good enough and there are better options out there. No matter how many times they change their partner, they are still not be satisfied and they will go off again searching for their “greener grass”.

Even when they have a 100% nice guy/girl as their partner, they will forsake the 100% nice guy/girl and search for someone who is 101% nice. Their life will be just running around in circles because once they found the 101%, they will want a 102% and so on and on.

How To Cure The “Greener Grass” Syndrome

The first thing to do is to acknowledge that your current partner is your best partner for you right now. Stay in the present and do not think about the hunks/babes out there who may be better than your current partner. By choosing to stay in the present, we can help to bring ourselves back from the future and preventing to have the thoughts of “what if there are better people out there” or “what if he/she is not for me” and etc.

Always apply your best effort in your current relationship. I had saw friends saying that their relationship can’t work out but from a third party point of view, what I am seeing is actually they are not putting enough effort into the relationship. So what make them think that the relationship is going to work when the effort on his part is negligible.

Last but not least, always remember that the grass is always greener on the other side, no matter which side you are at. Choose a side, stick to it and make the best out of it.

Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger

**P.S**Do you think the “greener grass” syndrome benefits us or is it causing us more harm than good? See you in the comment section.

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18 Responses to “Why The Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side”

  1. Hi Vincent,

    Nice article, as many personal development writers will say, there are times when you should strive to change and improve your situation, but it is also true that there are times when we should: “Choose a side, stick to it and make the best out of it”

    I think one reason the grass is always greener as that from a distance you don’t see the flaws, perhaps it can help to look at the grass we have now with such eyes & look past the flaws :)

  2. Shamelle-TheEnhanceLife says:

    Very very true… this post got me thinking this morning.

  3. Phani says:

    Hello Vincent,
    Its really a nice article. People always tend to look for better things somewhere else, they forget to see what they have now. They keep on searching for these things and never feel satisfied coz firstly they don’t know what they want secondly they feel there is more on the other side.

    :-)
    Cheers.

  4. My grass is very green exactly where I am – been married almost 25 years!

    Andrew

  5. Vincent says:

    @Hi Bonnie,

    “I think one reason the grass is always greener as that from a distance you don’t see the flaws, perhaps it can help to look at the grass we have now with such eyes & look past the flaws”

    I like what you said. Sometimes it is true that the grass seems greener on the other side because we are too far to see the flaws whereas the grass under our feet are so near to us that we can see all the flaws on it. It will help us appreciate what is right in front of us, if we focus on the good points instead of the flaws.

    Thanks for the point added. :)

    @Hi Andrew,

    Great to hear that Andrew. I bet people are envious of you and your happy marriage. :)

    Cheers
    Vincent
    Personal Development Blogger

  6. ICE says:

    Very envious of his marriage don’t you?

    Learn to cherish what we have now than to lose everything and regret.

  7. Did I say it was happy? Only kidding! Don’t know if envious is the right word. Some people would hate to be married.

    Andrew

  8. Raymond Chua says:

    It is very important to be grateful of what we already have and that is where we find our true happiness.

  9. Vincent says:

    @Hi Ice,

    Cherish is definitely the word to say to people with the “greener grass” syndrome.

    @Hi Andrew,

    I will be glad to be married! Just not at my age now ;)

    @Hi Raymond,

    Being contented with what we have is one of the key to be happy. Imagine how will we feel if we keep thinking why are our friend’s partner is more gorgeous than ours.

  10. Rahul says:

    This is one of the toughest lessons I’m having to learn. I’m in a happy relationship right now, and I have been for quite some time. However, as you’ve described here, the grass on the other side looks pretty green also. A part of me wants to explore, a part of me is happy where I am.

    Great article, it puts into perspective the truth that the grass will ALWAYS be greener on the other side, no matter which side you happen to be on.

  11. Vincent says:

    Hey Rahul,

    I understand the situation where we are always looking at the other side of the grass which always seem like it is greener. Discipline comes into play when our mind start to stray :)

    Cheers
    Vincent
    Personal Development Blogger

  12. [...] “Why The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side” @Hit Your Goals [...]

  13. Carol King says:

    Hi Vincent, great post. I would like to invite you to join the 30 day challenge on my blog. I am hoping to gather 50 participants to inspire each other and my readers to create the life of their dreams, I hope you will join me.

  14. Joseph says:

    I have found ‘living with content but not being satisfied’ helps. It is easier said than to practice. I am learning every day.

    I used to compare myself with all others and have a negative opinion about myself. A friend of mine, uttered one of the best words in my life – ‘you are inferior to none; and superior to none’. I’ve been successful in coming out of the negativity (it has been almost 15 years since I heard those words).

    BTW: you’ve logically layered and analyzed the topic.

  15. Long says:

    Hi Vincent,

    You use simple words but effectively, and straight-forwardly nonetheless. You raise an interesting aspect of the sort of mentality we commonly adopt, like you said ‘the other side is always greener no matter which side you are.’

    To me it’s not entirely wise to close yourself off to new opportunities in whatever it is that you do, acknowledging them is a big part along your life’s journey (I find defining boundaries in different areas is one way of knowing yourself and your limits at the moment – to avoid being uncertain about the chances we take). But we need to also acknowledge what we have at the moment, again, to us, our spot can never be green enough, while to others, ours is the greenest!

    Thanks for the article!

    Long.

  16. Vincent says:

    Hi Long,

    We need to find a balance between knowing when to be contented and when to seek out opportunities. Thanks for the compliment and glad that you like my article.

    Cheers
    Vincent
    Personal Development Blogger

  17. Protection says:

    Oh,ya it is a great info of Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side.Thanks for sharing this nice info related good article.

  18. JD Powers says:

    nice article. this syndrome applies to jobs/professional aspects as well. Same principles.