Lessons On Overcoming Fear

Vincent — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 06:28:26 +0000

“Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.”
Swedish proverb

How many times have us let fear breed in our mind and hence leading to inaction. Fear can be helpful for survival when it warn us of the dangers that we are facing and cause us to be more mentally prepared to deal with the problem. It definitely serve us well until it got to a point that it is inhibiting our ability to take actions.

How do we overcome fear? First of all, we need to determine what is the cause of fear.
Fear is basically what you are thinking and portraying it to your brain. Basically it is all about thoughts. How you think about something will make it either scary or not.

Breaking your personal comfort zone is one of the trigger to fear. When you want to quit your current job, you will feel fear. When you are going to give a first speech in your 30 years of life, you will feel fear. When we break out of our comfort zone, where we are entering is an area of unknown and most people hate unknown areas.

The funny thing about fear is sometime things that we worry and fear about doesn’t come true. It is just the accumulating of negative thoughts in our mind that cause it to snowball into a huge issue. This mean that all the time you spent on worrying and fearing for something that most probably not going to happen are actually wasted.

Let me state an example.

Scenario: Giving a speech in an auditorium packed with 1000 people

You are still joking with your friend a moment ago until one of the backstage staff came over to you and inform you that you have 15 minutes more to your speech. Suddenly your brain switch to high gear and start churning out images of you stuttering, tripping and fall, audience don’t laugh to your jokes and you are booed off the stage. Your face suddenly turned pale, you feel the butterflies in your stomach and your palms start to sweat. Fear had conquered you. But will most of the things happen? No. It will maybe happen if you keep thinking of all the negative ideas and start to act them all out.

Can fear be overcome? Yes! Definitely.

Tackling Fear

Let us decipher the word, FEAR

F – False
E – Evidence
A – Appearing
R – Real

Whenever there are time when you feel fearful, remember this and self talk to yourself and decipher the word FEAR.

Be Positive

When negative images start to fill your head. Stop! Control your thoughts and think of positive images. For an example, think of how the crowd cheers for you and the amount of applause you will receive after the end of speech. You can fill in your own positive thoughts for any scenarios.

Nike Just Do It!

I love Nike’s slogan “Just Do It!”. Learn from it and apply it in your life. It can help to crush fear. It is due to inaction and too much thinking that cause you to breed fear in your mind. Whenever you want to do something, don’t allow fear to have the time to breed, just do it!

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
Dale Carnegie

Learning from Fear

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

The quote from Eleanor Roosevelt states that once you look fear in the face and face it bravely, you will learn from the experience and be able to deal with the fear that come next with more confidence and strength. Doing things that you fear will turn it into part of your comfort zone and this this mean that fear is conquered.

One more lesson from a quote.

“Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.”
Bertrand Russell

If the Wright brothers and Thomas Edison fear of being eccentric and being laughed at, what will happen to us now? We will be saying good bye to air planes and light bulb. Welcome ferries and candles.

Being Curious

Being curious is the opposite of living in fear. Curiosity empowers you with excitement of venturing into the unknown areas for greater rewards. It spur actions and actions are the seeds to success.

Leave a comment if you got any ideas to share on overcoming fear.

Cheers
Vincent
Self Improvement Blogger

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Post from: Health Money Success

Lessons On Overcoming Fear

Law Of The Seed

Vincent — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 03:37:35 +0000

Photo by Steve Webel

When we look at apple trees, we wonder why does the apples contain so many seeds? Why not just one seed per apple will do? Nature have a lesson for us here. The apples contain so many seeds because not all the seeds will grow!

So what does the law of the seeds show us? It show us that if we want something, we are going to try more then once to get it. We will need to try 5 pair of shoes to get the right fit. We will need to send 20 resumes for one job interview. We will need to meet hundreds of people to find our best friend. We will need to try thousands of business ideas to get one that work best. One of my previous job in sales taught me, each No brings you closer to a Yes. I believe it and work hard on it so even a rejection can’t bring me down as I know each rejection I received brings me closer to a deal!

So how to be successful? We will need to try more then once to be successful in life, be it in becoming slim, becoming rich or having a soul mate. Successful people fail often to get what they want. It is because they are trying more then others and thus planting more seeds.

Effort first, results later.

Jack says if I get an A for maths then I will start loving maths. Zack says he will start saving money after he is rich. It doesn’t work this way. The principle is always effort first then results. It is not the other way round.

So what else can we learn from the Law Of The Seed? We need to know we can only reap the harvest after the work. Without planting the seed, we cannot expect any harvest. After planting, we will need to water it which is the effort being applied and then wait (patience) for it to grow.

Patience is such an important virtue yet sometimes we forgot about it. In this world of fast food and instant noodles, we want instant gratification and instant results. People want to be rich and wealthy overnight, which is hardly going to happen unless you hit the jackpot or strike the lottery. Look how many people are turn off by the idea of effort and thus denying themselves the results they desired.

Lets refer to the bamboo. It takes 3 years to get it growing. The first 3 years are just getting itself ready and growing the roots to prepare for a growth spurt. Without patience, you will stop the effort of watering on the bamboo in the first and second year and in turn fail to see it grow into such a magnificent sight.

Once we understand the Law Of The Seed we will know how to handle the feedback in life and don’t feel like victims every time. So understand the Law of Nature and work with it.

Cheers!
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger

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