Book Review: How To Win Friends & Influence People By Dale Carnegie

8 Comments Posted in Personal Development

If 15 percent of one’s financial success is due to one’s technical knowledge and about 85 percent is due to skill in human engineering, will you be interested to learn more about dealing with human?

Do you know how to navigate the murky water of dealing with human? Many do not know how and those who know how will prosper and flourish in their life time.

If you wish to prosper in your life, some essential attributes you must have would be your level of expertise in your field, the willingness to learn and the skill of human interaction.

You can be skilled at what you do but if you do not have any friends and your boss hate you like how much he hate the coffee stain on his coat, do you think that you can have any good opportunities offered to you from your boss? Most probably he will give any good opportunity to others which may be inferior to you in terms of expertise yet possessed better human relationship skills.

I am not saying that we should embrace flattery and be a boot licker, instead I believe that we should all learn to deal with human carefully to gain more friends and recognition in the process.

If you are interested in having more people to like you, persuade them to do what you want them to do yet not resenting it and win them to your way of thinking, you should definitely pick up Dale Carnegie’s “How To Win Friends and Influence People.”

Principles that I learned in the book that will benefit you

I have learned much on dealing with people in this book and I will share with you some principles that I like and personally think that my readers will benefit from it.

1st Principle: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain

Don’t ever criticize because what you are getting is only a person who is on the defensive and a person who may bear resentment against you. By criticizing, we are making things hard for ourselves because it will be more difficult for the other party to admit that they are wrong and agree with us. The worst is to get an extra enemy. Human love appreciation and dread condemnation and remember this point whenever you feel like criticizing.

Let me share with you a great story I found in the book (I believe we love stories, don’t we?)

Bob Hoover, a great test pilot had both his engines suddenly stopped at 300 feet in the air and and he managed to land the plane with nobody hurt except that his plane was damaged. He immediately suspect that the plane had been fueled with jet fuel instead of gasoline and upon returning the airport, he immediately requested to meet with the mechanic who serviced his plane.

The mechanic was worried and devastated about his mistakes that cost an expensive plane and almost the loss of 3 lives. One could expect the lashing he will receive from Bob Hoover. Instead of criticizing the mechanic, the first thing Bob Hoover did was to put his arm around the mechanic’s shoulder and said, “To show you that I’m sure that you will never do this again, I want you to service my F-51 tomorrow.

Can you even imagine the how the mechanic felt? I believe that he of course will not commit the same mistake again and Bob Hoover had a new friend instead of an enemy. What if he criticize the mechanic and shamed him in public instead? He probably need to look over his shoulder every now and then and be prepared to check his own fuel before every trip for his plane to ensure everything is all right.

2nd Principle: Talk in term of the other person’s interest.

Do you ever have the problem of not knowing what to talk to the other person and being caught in a dead silence between the 2 of you? This is one superb way of tackling this problem. Why don’t you talk to them about their interest?

Whenever people talk to you about your interest, what would be your reaction like? You will definitely be enthusiastic and you can talk for hours about your interest. This is true for anybody and that means that when you talk to others about their interest, they will be passionate about it and go on for hours and you can say goodbye to the dead silence moment.

Talking in term of other person’s interest also mean that you will learn more about other things that you have no knowledge of and it will give the person a very good impression of you and may brand you as a good conversationalist even when they are doing 3/4 of the talking. How good is that?

3rd Principle: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Do you like to take orders from others? I believe you don’t because we naturally don’t like to take orders from others.

Will you like it if your boss is always asking you rudely to “do this!” or “do that!” Do you think you will cooperate without any thoughts of rebellion? If he is ordering you around, you might come out with some reasons to tell him that why the things that he ordered can’t be done instead.

What if he asked in a different way such as, “You might consider this”, “Do you think this will work?”, or “What do you think of this?”

When we are asking questions, we make the order palatable and are also encouraging participation from the other party which in turn make them more likely to accept the order because they felt important and played a part in it. It also encourages cooperation instead of rebellion.

Conclusion

The book is written in a simple way that could be easily understood and there are tons of interesting stories (I really love the stories written =)) inside that helps to make the points clearer to us. 30 key points was written and elaborated on to help you get distinction in human interaction.

The good thing that follows would be the book cost $10.20 only and the return you get from the book would be much more greater than that. Get “How To Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie make more friends now!

Cheers
Vincent
Friends Winning Blogger

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**P.S** If you had read the book, why don’t you leave a comment and do state how you think about the book and how much the book had help you.  If it is possible, share your live examples and let others learn from it and happy commenting!

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8 Responses to “Book Review: How To Win Friends & Influence People By Dale Carnegie”

  1. Vincent says:

    @Hi Hamdani Amin,

    I enjoyed this book too and I am going to pick up his other books soon. His principles are simple yet powerful, even applying a little of his principles into our life will make a great difference.

    @Hi meysamk,

    Go read it as soon as possible and tell me how you think about the book =). You will be well entertained and in the process learned a great deal on human relationship.

    Cheers
    Vincent
    Personal Development Blogger

  2. meysamk says:

    Hi Vincent
    I Downloaded this book from the net but until today I didn’t read it. I had very problems for finding & keeping friends and influence other people. your review excited me to read this book as soon as possible!

  3. Hamdani Amin says:

    I personally love to read Dale Carnegie book, this two principles put forward in this book had help me in many way when dealing with my friend, wife, co-workers and my kids. Another way to look at it as “How to make yourself interesting”