How To Have A Pleasant Personality

Image courtesy of bjearwicke

It is not about what you know, it is about who you know.

Most of you may find this quote familiar. This quote still holds true today. You can be a great writer but it is hard to be discovered in this competitive world if you do not know anyone who can market your talent. At first, I find it difficult to accept this.

I believe that as long as you have the talent, you can excel in your field. However, as time goes by I find that talent alone is not enough. You need to know people. You need to know the right people to help you excel in your field.

To get to know more people who can help you to get to where you want to be, you have to have a pleasant personality.

How Having A Pleasant Personality Helps

In order to convince others to help you or work with you, you must have a pleasant personality. If you are such a jerk, no one will ever want to work with you. Ask yourself, if you do not like someone, how possible is it that you will end up working with him or her? If you do not even want to work with them, don’t even mention about helping them.

A pleasant personality helps. It will ensure others will like you more. Magic happens when others like you more. They pay more attention to you and they are more likely to help you or introduce someone helpful to you. In our society, the road to success will much easier when there are many people who are willing to help you. People found jobs through their friends and discover money-making opportunities through their network. This is the power of having a great network.

How To Have A Pleasant Personality

1. Help Others

Give before you receive. Many people have the wrong concept about giving and receiving. They think that they are entitled to something and hence they always want to receive before giving. It don’t work this way. It is impossible to get results when you do not put in the effort. You don’t expect others to help you when you are not helping others.

I once read a book that stated something like this, “You don’t expect a drink vending machine to drop you a can of drink without putting in a dollar first.” Very true. One of the keys to have a pleasant personality is sincerely help others. People like you more when you are of great help or service to others.

2. Be Interested In Others

Some people may find it hard to hold a conversation with others. In fact, this is rather simple. All you need to do is to be interested in others. People are always more interested in themselves. They want to talk more about themselves rather than listen to other people’s stories.

To appear interesting to others, be interested in others and get them to talk about themselves. Others will find you interesting when you are interested in them. When you can hold an interesting conversation with others (by the way, they are doing most of the talking), they will believe that you have a rather pleasant personality.

3. Be Cheerful And Optimistic

Would you rather be with someone who can make you laugh or someone who will bore you to death with their whining and complaints? I can’t stand negative people who try to spread the pessimism virus around. Most people don’t like them too. Keep the pessimism viruses at bay and do your best to keep them to the minimum.

Cheerful and optimistic people are well liked. Their cheerfulness and optimism is contagious. When you can make others happy, they will like you more.

4. Avoid Arguments Over Small Stuffs

Shun away from arguments over trivial matters. Don’t sweat the small stuff by Richard Carlson is a great read on this topic. When you get into an argument over trivial matters with someone, you destroy all the rapport you had built with them. It takes years to build rapport with others and seconds to destroy it. Whenever you think of entering an argument over trivial matters, think twice.

5. Don’t Be A Jerk

Don’t be caught up in office politics and start a back stabbing spree. If you think others don’t know what you are talking behind their back, you are wrong. This type of information is shared easily and there may be a back stabber in your own group too.

Being a hypocrite, avoid participating in backstabbing or any other actions that can damage your reputation. It isn’t easy to build your reputation and all it takes is a moment to destroy it. Just keep this rule in mind, don’t do what you do not want others to do upon to you.

Parting Words

Your aim is to enhance your personality so that others will like you more and be more willing to cooperate with you. You will also attract more people into your life and the more people you know, the higher the chances that they can help you to achieve your goals. It is great to have a wide network as you know, it is not about what you know, it is about who you know.

Vincent
Expanding His Network

  1. Great post! I think I passed the test on all five when with colleagues. But with family, I think I need to work on 3 and 4. 🙂
    This served as a reminder. Thanks, Vincent.

  2. Another very insightful blog, Vince. 🙂 Agree with all points as usual. I think the most important about them is to not argue over small things and sometimes, just let it go. Even if you feel like you have been wronged, swallow it and move on. I’ve learnt that this lets you live life with less headaches and stress, and is probably good for your relationships with people too.

    Till then,

    Jean

  3. “Dont be a jerk” is just about the best piece of advice i’ve seen dispensed for quite some time. The only problem is that many people do not actually realise that they are being jerks, and the people around them is too scared to point this fact out to them. Therein the conundrum lies….

  4. Hey Vincent,

    Great post about having a pleasant personality. I do agree with you that we need to know the right person to market ourselves as we need to be in the right place at the right time by learning how to position ourselves in order to get more opportunities.

    Waiting for your next success interview thread 🙂

    Cheers
    Javier
    .-= Javier Chua´s last blog ..Unleash Your True Potential =-.

  5. I totally agree with you Vincent. Success is being able to cooperate with others. When we develop a pleasant personality, the chances for developing a good relationship with others increases and we can help each other out. By giving a little bit more, usually you’ll get something in return. Even if you don’t, at least you’ve made someone’s life better for a day.
    .-= Hulbert´s last blog ..Tony Robbins and Why =-.

    • Hi Hulbert,

      Helpful people always receive more help. Therefore I think the law of giving first always hold true. 🙂

      Cheers,
      Vincent

  6. It’s interesting reading this post because I used to be the most disgruntled person alive. Till I realized that living with myself was hard, imagine how others felt.

    As my awareness grew and I started to make little changes in myself. How I behaved with others changed automatically. To a certain extent we’re social animals, be the change you want in the world.

    Cheers,
    Rishi

    • Be the change you want to see in the world.

      This is a great quote. When we are unhappy about how things are in our life, instead of wanting others to change, changing ourselves and perception can help.

      Cheers,
      Vincent

  7. Great post Vincent, this is in Think and Grow Rich I believe. Great material. There’s not a whole lot of people you can’t befriend if you have these personality traits.

    • Hi Clinton,

      These are definitely traits that will entice more people to befriend us. Napolean Hill stated it as one of the key to success.

      Cheers,
      Vincent