Editor’s note: This is a guest post by Armen Shirvanian from Timeless Information
Image courtesy of faby74
If it is a common occurrence for you to have one person or another who is disappointed in you, decision-making is a key component of handling that issue. Others who we deal with will not usually say this directly, but will hope that you make a decision, either right or wrong, and not stay indecisive. Decisions show a healthy sign of life, as they represent you taking a stand for something. One might say that you can either make decisions or let them be made for you.
Indecision Makes Others Think You Have A Problem
One of the first things that come to some one’s mind when you are indecisive in some way is that there is a problem in your mind, or in your activities, which you are not handling. This makes sense, because if you didn’t have any problems, you would certainly pick one end of a decision or the other. Next time you are indecisive, watch how another person responds, and you will see that they start to see you as a little more weak than they did before the occurrence.
If you don’t want others thinking you have issues you haven’t yet gotten control over, you have to hit them back with decisions right when the time is set for you to respond. Decisions can include saying “no” to propositions, or adjusting what the other person proposes to better suit your interests, but they can’t include hesitation or postponement, unless the postponement is realistic, and meant to give you ample time to research or assess in some way. Any form of trying to add extra fluff time to a decision is what we call ‘indecision’, and use of that will lead to your personal score decreasing in the eyes of those you deal with.
Watching A Movie Example
If a friend asks you if you want to see a certain new comedy movie at the theaters, you have a few options. This is a seemingly simple decision to make to some, but some can get hesitant here, and those same folks are likely to be hesitant in other opportunities to pick one option over another. In this case, you could either say “yes” or “no”, or suggest another movie, which would all be good for you, and your friend would understand your interests. On the other hand, if you said “maybe”, and then didn’t provide any more information, your friend would wonder if you had some issues.
There are only so many times you can say “maybe” before the other person thinks you either have a problem you haven’t conquered, or are treating them as less important than you should. Since no one wants to think you are viewing them as not that important, they will default to the thought that you have some internal issues, and that doesn’t help you when you next want to work or play with that person.
Think The Way Others Are Thinking
For the next time you have a decision to make in relation to someone else, remember that the first priority is to make the decision, and that they won’t be offended in any way if you turn them down, or adjust their proposition in some way, as long as you do it respectfully. Others are people just like you.