8 Tips To Deal With Insecurity

8 Comments October 13, 2008 / Posted in Personal Development

Photo by bass_nroll

The feeling of insecurity pops out in every phase of our life. When you are insecure you can be thinking about are you cool enough? Tall enough? Are you in sync with your peers? Or thin enough even when you are already so thin that you seems like a pair of walking chopstick if you have a twin beside you. Generally insecurity is a feeling of unease that is triggered by the lack of self confidence, feeling inadequate and lacking trust in oneself or others.

So why are people insecure?

Some factors such as…

1. Being raised in an environment that is not conducive for learning and chaotic and thus leading them to be frequently on the edge.

2. Having gone through a major setback or tragedy in life such as losing someone important, divorce or bankruptcy.

3. Lack of direction in life.

4. Lack of compliments from others and thus they feel that they are not acknowledged.

5. Poor self image of their body. ( Look what has Gisele Bundchen, George Clooney and Zac Efron have done to us. )

6. Having unrealistic expectations imposed on them by others and they are striving to meet.

7. Low self esteem, lack skills and abilities.

8. Overshadowed by other more successful people and feel that they cannot achieve as much success as the others.

9. Lacking of trust in others that leads to jealousy in a relationship.

10. Fear. The fear of rejection, pain, loss, embarrassment will cause them to feel insecure and thus put up irrational responses to prevent the situation from happening.

What Insecurity Affects?

Relationship

Insecurity can become a major problem in your life if it is not keep in check. Their social network will suffer tremendously. Due to to the need to protect themselves, they will be either withdrawn or snobbish and thus being avoided by others and lack friends. They will find relationship being hard to maintain as there will be jealousy that ranges from minor problems such as constantly checking  up on the partner asking where they are and major problems such as they will get into a rage easily and even show abusive signs. It will be hard for them to admit they got a problem with their behavior that is causing a distress to others and thus hard to change it.

Performance

Work performance drops when they think the whole world is out to get them thus keeping all the work to themselves even when it mean that they are already over burdened with work and stress. Promotion and pay rise will pass them by more easily because they do not promote what they do and this will in turn cause them to feel more unappreciated.

Psychological

They will be more easily agitated and hard to deal with. Fear of embarrassment or failure will impede decision making skills and thus affecting the quality of choices. They will then further blame themselves when the decision turn out wrong.

8 Tips To Deal With Insecurity

1. Self Awareness – Ask yourself what is the trigger of you feeling insecure? Fear of loss, pain, embarrassment or rejection. What is it that you are insecure? After finding out the trigger, ask yourself what new behavior traits you can develop to make you feel more secure? How does the new behavior benefits me? What is my action plan to develop the new behavior?

2.” So what?” attitude - Don’t keep asking what if this happen or what if that happen. You can run your imagination wild if you keep asking yourself what if. Tell your self “So What?” There are a lot of things that are actually minor problems until we are guilty of making a mountain out of a mole. Zac Efron can be more handsome then me, so what? The world still revolves.

3. Exercise РJoin a gym, take up the yoga class, take up pilates or start doing regular exercises. Exercising can improve your mood. When you exercise your brain release chemicals  which will make you feel happier and more relaxed. By regularly exercising you can boost your confidence, improve your self esteem and say bye bye to depression and anxiety.

4. Set Goals – Lack of direction in life can cause insecurity. You will be wondering what is your purpose in life and lack the self esteem. By regularly setting goals, you can keep on achieving and lesser time for your mind to wander. Be sure to take baby steps when setting goals.

5. Journal - Use a journal and record the success you have make in life. Record down the mini success you have achieved and regularly refer back to it to boost your self confidence.

6. List your fears - List your fears and conquer them one by one. Feel insecure when you are presenting? Take up a public speaking class. Fear of talking to strangers? Take up a sales job. Keep conquering your fear one by one and suddenly you got a whole lot of confidence in yourself!

7. Buddy or Mentor system – Find a buddy or mentor that you can trust and tell them about the challenges you are facing. Let them track your progress and shower you with compliments.

8. Laughter – Laughter is the best medicine for human. When you laugh your mood lightens up and is said to help to improve the immune system too. With the internet, you can find jokes and humor at a touch of a finger click. Watch comedies or surf youtube to find funny videos. There are lots of sources out there on the web.

There you are, my 8 tips to deal with insecurity. Feel free to leave a comment or 2 and share some ideas that you believe that can help combat insecurity.

Cheers!

Vincent

Insecurity No More Blogger

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8 Responses to “8 Tips To Deal With Insecurity”

  1. Dan says:

    If you’d like a tool for setting your goals, you can use this web application:

    http://www.Gtdagenda.com

    You can use it to manage your goals, projects and tasks, set next actions and contexts, use checklists, schedules and a calendar.
    A mobile version and iCal are available too.

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  5. redwine says:

    and also i would like to add up in the “8 tips to deal with insecurities”
    number 9 can be: ALWAYS PRAY!
    that’s one of the best tips. if you’re close to God, you will appreciate every single thing you have. you will loose your fears. when you have God with you, you will be happy always and be satisfied with what you have. :)

  6. John Smith says:

    This actually helped me a lot in identifying why i had suddenly became insecure as of late. Thank you for helping me with this realization, and i can already tell you im a bit closer to how i used to be

  7. good stuff, Vincent!

    I’ve seen some potentially good relationships ruined by insecurity. I know I can definitely be insecure at times.

    And I agree with laughter being the best medicine!

  8. Preethy says:

    Hi i am feeling insecured and its affecting my married life. I feel insecured about loosing my husband because my MOm in law is very possessive about him. I shall apply the above tips. Please share if you have any.